The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Finished June 9, 2026

At the risk of sounding illiterate, it became almost immediately clear that poetry is not for me. I realize that this book is an impressive feat of literature but about halfway through I thought, “If I have to read ‘love’ rhymed with ‘above’ one more time, I’m going to scream.” Much mental screaming ensued.

But it wasn’t all bad. For your consideration I saved these highly intellectual passages of this poetic masterpiece:

Dark was the night as pitch, as black as coal,
And at the window she put her hole,
And Absalon, so fortune framed the farce,
Put up his mouth and kissed her naked arse
Most savorously before he knew of this.

This one’s a bit long but I can’t keep it to myself:

‘Now of my fifth, last husband let me tell
God never let his soul be sent to Hell!
And yet he was my worst, and many a blow
He struck me still can ache along my row
Of ribs, and will until my daying day.

‘But in our bed he was so fresh and gay,
So coaxing, so persuasive…Heaven knows
Whenever he wanted it – my belle chose –
Though he had beaten me in every bone
HE still could wheedle me to love, I own.
I think I loved him best, I’ll tell no lie.
He was disdainful in his love, that’s why.
We women have a curious fantasy
In such affairs, or it seems to me.
When something’s difficult, or can’t be had
We crave and cry for it all day like mad.
Forbid a thing, we pine for it all night,
Press fast upon us and we take to flight;
We use disdain in offering our wares.
A throng of buyers sends prices up at fairs,
Cheap goodes have little value, they suppose;
And that’s a thing that every woman knows.

I think all that is trying to say is beat the crap out of her and pull the tsundere act and she’ll keep crawling back for more.

Okay, last one because it made me laugh. Burying her husband and already trying to seduce the pallbearer like a true cougar:

‘To church they bore my husband on the morrow
With all the neighbors round him venting sorrow,
And one of them of course was handsome Johnny.
So help me God, I thought he looked so bonny
Behind the coffin! Heavens, what a pair
Of legs he had! Such feet, so clean and fair!
I gave my whole heart up, for him to hold.
He was, I think, some twenty winters old,
And I was forty then, to tell the truth.
But still, I always had a coltish tooth.
Yes, I’m gap-toothed; it suits me well I feel,
It is the print of Venus and her seal.
So help me God I was a lusty one,
Fair, young and well-to-do, and full of fun!

So “The Wife Of Bath’s Tale” was the winner in my mind. The rest…not so much.

Rating: ★★
400+ pages of rhyming gave me a headache. The excerpts trick you into thinking it wasn’t so bad but while I was reading I couldn’t wait to be done. So 2 stars.